ECG OF LIFE

So, it’s times like this that I’m grateful for my friends. When one of them says something I really need to hear and in a clever way too, I’m like ‘wow, I’m so glad I met you.’ I’ve always wondered at the similarity of my friends, how a large percentage are usually Christians, most of them writers and all of them very clever, capable of thinking outside the box and saying the weirdest things in ways that make complete sense to me. From now on, I will no longer wonder. I will just be grateful for all of them.

Anyways, the particular pixel of wisdom that inspired this post came sometime yesterday afternoon. I was feeling a little overwhelmed about the enormous amounts of information I have to get into my head in time for exams (such is med school), and a friend of mine was dealing with some other issues. So there we were, sitting side by side, trying to console each other, while putting on our poker faces (you know, the one you give everyone so they don’t guess that you’re screaming inside), not even aware that we were being watched.

BREAK FREE

It’s time.

You robbed my peace.

You stole my sanity.

You burgled my identity.

You shuffled my life.

You’ve done enough, I think.

It’s time.

I cast you out this minute.

Out of my life, I rebuke you.

Out of my mind, I banish you.

Out of my heart, I expel you.

It’s time

Leave me be.

Let my heart be free.

Let this torment be done.

Let these wounds finally heal.

JUST SAY NO

I have watched life zoom past me. I have struggled for opportunities then let go at the last lap because someone else needed it more or because I needed something from someone and I wasn’t willing to inconvenience the person to get it. I’ve always been attuned to people’s emotions, always been able to feel what they feel. This unusual empathy- blessing or curse? I think it might be a curse. See, I’m the person in a group who will try to soften the blows of people’s teasing of other people, even if it’s none of my business (Imagine me butting into a conversation just to say don’t take her seriously, she’s just joking). I’m the one who ensures to say just joking after every teasing sentence to make sure you don’t take it the wrong way. I will always try to explain my actions. I say sorry an inordinate amount of times.  I would give out anything to anyone if they pulled a sincere enough puppy dog face.

To Whomever It May Concern

We all know what anger is, we’ve all felt it in its different forms, whether it is mild irritation or full blown rage.
Our bodies’ normal threshold for anger is very low and amounts higher than the threshold are toxic. Based on approach towards anger, I classify people into two categories.

My Psalm

So in the Catholic Church, we celebrate mass. It’s done in place of what other denominations call service. It’s so much more than a service though. It is a feast, a communion, a celebration of the last supper, consecration of bread and wine…and so much more. But I’m not here to talk about the Catholic faith.

Anyways, the sequence of mass goes; the introductory rites, then one or two readings then a psalm before the gospel reading then the homily, Eucharistic celebration and conclusion. The responsorial psalm is a short song which can be a whole psalm or part of psalms. Usually someone recites or sings it while the congregation replies a refrain.

So this week, I was ‘chosen’ –but really, actually forced– to be the one to sing the psalm for Wednesday mass, a big deal for the Catholics in my school.

After a week’s practice, I was ready to take on the stage. Here is what I sang.

PEACE

Do you ever feel sometimes everything is going wrong for you. Ever feel that everything that was previously arranged in your life was falling apart. Or is it just me. A few months ago, my life was thrown into upheaval. My friendships were falling apart, my accommodation status was shaky. Family was….well, you get the point.

HIM: colournote3

Okay, so I apologize for being a little AWOL lately. So much has been going on in my life lately and so many emotions have been wracking through me. I’ve been writing but as usual when I’m overcome with emotion, I can’t write anything worth showing anyone so…yah, I haven’t been able to create anything worth reading. Just scribbles of ugly emotions. The worst part is that my colournote is even fuller than usual…*sigh*. Anyways I figured if I didn’t get another post off my colournote and on to the blog, I’d have nowhere else to write when the feels come (yes, it has been a hectic couple of weeks for me).

So here it is… be prepared, it’s awful.